Tonight I am so f***king panic and anxious, and I even lost my sleep.
Cause I don’t know what shall I do with my life.
And I want to figure it out now, right now, on the damn spot now.
So I re-pondered on the point that
Life has no "true, pre-defined, hard" meanings.
So I really have no reasons doing anything, neither do I have any reason not doing anything.
God is f**king died. And I am the only king of my life, no others, not anything.
By right I should go kill myself, which is probably the last thing I will do my life.
But I realize that there are still things I want to do. Just kind of want to do. There are no reasons there. No
Just I want to.
And that is due to those chemicals inside my brain. Humans are nothing but chemicals driven machines, so am I.
So I better keep a list of things I want to do and keep myself busy.
#EMO. This a very emotional post at 3AM.